A&E Intervention - Leslie

My name is Leslie, L-E-S-L-I-E . . . . (facing camera) and I am a chronic A&E Intervention watcher. (cut to photos of Leslie age 3).
Du, no but seriously, I freaking love this show and it's gettin' kinda hectic. So I come home from work today and I walk through the hall and WHOA . . . I'll paint a picture . . .
Leslie: Whoa! What are all you guys doing here?
Ken Seeley (interventionist): Hi Leslie. You're in a room full of people who love you.
Axel: Have a seat.
Leslie: Ummm, okaaay. (sits next to Axel and Potsey).
Potsey: Mom, you're not a mom to me anymore.
Leslie: Huh? When did you starting speaking English?
Potsey: Never mind that. I need to read this to you. (puts on reading glasses and clears throat). Your addiction to watching Intervention all the time has negatively affected me in the following ways . . . . (30 minutes later) . . . I LOVE YOU MOM.
Ken: I usually don't let dogs speak during these things but . . . .
Leslie: But I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!!!
Eddie: (through tears) Please accept this wonderful gift we are offering you today. (sniff)
Leslie: Eddie? What are YOU doing here?? Your wife is about to give birth! You need to be in San Diego! Does she know you're here? QTFFFF!?
Eddie: That's all noise. . . unless you say yes today, that's all just noise.
Leslie: Whaaaaaaaaa?
Axel: If you don't accept this help that we are offering you today, our relation will change in the following ways.
Leslie: Laughing, no seriously guys. . . . are you for real?
Eddie: NOISE! (blows nose)
Axel: I will take my laptop away from you and block Youtube from showing recaps of Intervention. I will block the Intervention website as well. I will not do the dishes.
Leslie: You never do the dishes anyway.
ummmm . . . . . this is turning into a big fat coldy. . . .. methinks this joke has gone on long enough. .. . hmmm?