If I told you you were beautiful, would you page me on the regular

Axel the P and I went to Mendocino this weekend and it was totes fab. We drove up the 101 to Mendo, drove through Fort Bragg and then drove south along the coast to the tiniest picolino town of all called Elk. We had reservations at this uber cute inn called the Greenwood Pier Inn on the cliffs overlooking the coast. Seriously so cute I could barf. They obvs were pet friendly, so we checked-in and left Potsey in the room for all of 8 minutes while we walked to the restaurant to get a glass of wine and watch the sunset. Whilst in the restaurant I heard what sounded like an elderly woman being stabbed to death in her room . . . . and that elderly woman turned out to be one Potsey Lydia Maguillicutty Donaldson.

(Dapper, unless left alone in hotel rooms)

He totally freaked out due to his 'abandonment anxiety' and was making these ridiculous screeching sounds that could be heard all over the hotel grounds. We made a mad-dash back to the room and picked his pathetic ass up and he joined us for a romantical sunset. We had dinner at this faux french restaurant called Le Petite Rive that got great reviews on Yelp yet was not that great. They tried way too hard to be all shmancy with their food by like providing a peach sorbet in the middle of the meal to 'cleanse the pallet' . . . . yet my pallet wasn't that dirty after the first course salad, so it was kinda weird. After din din Axel and I decided to take it to a whole new level of cheese and drove back to Elk blaring Justin Timberlake's 'My Love' (how does Axel know all the words to that one?) and decided to go down to the beach. We were told where to hike and when we came to the cliffs we noticed a rope line to the beach below. Mind you, I had 3 glasses of wine in me, so I thought it was a brazilliant idea to descend down this cliff at 8:00 in the PM. The first half of the climb was pretty steep and then we came to a 2nd rope which took us to the very bottom. So we scale this cliff and then hang out on the beach (Leslie went into the ocean whilst Axel looked out for sharks). Then we decided to go back up the cliff seeing as it was getting dark. So I'm scaling this wall on the first rope and get the 2nd rope only to realize that someone has either untied it (POTSEY!??!) or it came loose from its holding and I'm stuck on the side of this cliff with one end of the rope in my hand! It was a carbuncular debacle the to nth degree. Luckily, I was drunk enough to have no fear, yet sober enough to not totally spazz out and crept up the side of the cliff on my hands and knees with Axel in tow. Here is an artist's rendering of the experience.